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How to Listen with a Compassionate Heart
When I was a young mom, I thought I knew how to listen with a compassionate heart. I had become an expert at listening to what my little ones were trying to say. Watching clues like their body language, the context of an activity, and my intuition all helped me decipher their words. But as they grew older I slowly lost that sixth sense and felt inept at understanding what they’re trying to communicate to me.
I’ve had many a conversation end in frustration because one of us wasn’t getting what the other was trying to say. There is a big difference between listening and hearing what is actually being said. It’s the kind of conversation where she thinks she’s telling you what she wants to say, but you’re hearing something completely different, and somewhere in the middle lies the real meaning.
Sound confusing? It’s not. Real listening is one valuable tool to have in your arsenal. It’s more than listening with your ear, reading body language, or actively participating in the dialogue. Focused and compassionate listening is about the meaning we give our conversations. It involves stepping out of our mind and into the shoes of the person with whom we’re communicating. This kind of listening breaks down into understanding the four layers of communication.
